This is a letter to my diary. I know it is not the one who might reciprocate me.. But i am sure that this is the only quality which makes a diary my best friend. Writing has always had a cathartic effect on me.. I find it as that staunch, reliable & trustworthy friend with whom I can share anything. The relationship I share with my diary is pure & pious. Far better than any other form of human relationship. So this is to that very material thing in my life which is the witness of everything.. Which is probably more valuable to me than anything else.. This is for ‘my diary’.
It gives me immense pleasure to pour the droplets of ink on your ever so serene and immaculate pages Stained by my pangs and vehemence. You know what the best part is.?? These blank pages somewhere give me hope.. A hope of survival.. They shout at me that it’s never too late to rewrite your own story, to change the ending, to begin a new beginning… Oh my diary how without even saying a word you added so much to my life.
How could I forget those caliginous nights when the only thing which gave me light was you.. How can I forget those times of treachery where in I used to feel that everything is synthetic and nothing real.. How can I forget those days when I used to feel hexed by those daemons and all I could do was write those unspoken words.. You even absorbed my dropped tears without complaining..! Not to forget those happy days.. Days when I felt accomplished and I fondly use to share those jocund moments. How you’d treasured my immortal memories within you.. How you endured all my scribbling and scrawling.
You isolated me from the world when i needed it the most. I was looking for a way to escape my life, and you showed me the way out. We’ve been through so much together, it would be a lie to say that I am not grateful for your presence in my life. You made me feel safe and secure when I was under social pressure that society imposes. You helped me to pull away from unknown situations, the situations i didn’t know how to escape from.
You kept your word and held to your promise, I have never accepted even a small amount of imperfection. What i have realized is that those ‘memories’ are fake. I have never really felt secure, it was always fear. Big amount of fear. Fear from friends and the Society which was deeply etched in me, fear from rejection and inability to be any less than “perfect”, fear from being average. You were always there, making me feel successful and happy…. No matter whether it was my insecurities, apprehensions, failures, love or solecism.. I could write it all probably because the wasn’t a narcissistic piece of flesh judging me and Forming opinions, but you ‘my loyal friend’…. Dear diary yes you were always there and will be…….!!!!!