I MISS YOU.

I miss u…. the fact that you don’t even think about me…. I thought I will NEVER contact you… why I always give up… every time…. I succumb to my desires… why …

tired of this one-sided affection… Lying to myself.. suppressing the little things that remind me of you.

sometimes I think… I didn’t even know anything about you… Nothing… you were a fantasy that became a reality.. and now this reality is eating me up like a termite…

As lucky as I feel to have got some moments with you, I also feel like somewhere it rendered me drained. To want somethings. Should I thank god for giving me this moment or should I curse myself for enjoying my illusionary image of you, trying to run behind things which were never mine. How I wish I got the chance to tell you ever how suffocated I feel when your accessibility seems impossible.

How many times I cry myself to sleep wishing that maybe someday you will be there beside me and I can lie on your shoulder and get wrapped in your arms, how surreal would that be. How many times I have dreamt about us and was hankering for a life with you.

Even though it is impossible to achieve, Why am I not able to make myself believe that the path I am walking on shall lead me to utter destruction and I will spend the whole lifetime picking up the delicate pieces of my love.

all I have for now is a lot of complains. I never really wanted you, but since you came near and gave me the taste of love, I can somehow not stop wanting for more.

If you were never supposed to be a part of my life, then why did god send you to me. It is better to not have something than to have something and lose it.

Despite all this I still miss you a lot.