BENGALURU’S NIGHT OF SHAME

I recall just two weeks back I wrote about groping and gender inequality. Never knew that another incident shall provoke me to write for the same. None the less, today I shall not criticize because eventually, the hooligans might not be reading WordPress.
As Indians, I really don’t know why it takes cases like nirbhaya or Bengaluru molestation to show how flimsy our security forces are, especially when it comes to an issue like “women security”. The reports, regarding all of this happening in the presence of a substantial number of cops added insult to injury.
This shows the respect for law and authority by our fellow citizens and above all the respect for a woman’s modesty and security. The problem lies in ‘ignorance’.
Even as women and citizens, we tend to ignore small things until something big happens. We try to ignore men passing lewd comments, groping, eve teasing and such petty things eventually provoke something big, and then the issue finally comes into the limelight when something big happens. The problem here lies in lack of proof, because mostly if someone is molesting, we eventually cannot proof the fact. Here at the venue there were more than 25 CCTV cameras installed and hundreds of witnesses. Till yet I don’t see any substantial action from the security personals. Are they also waiting for something as big as the “nirbhaya case” to happen, so that they can catch the criminals and our governments can again become the empathetic leaders, announcing aids to the victim’s family and perhaps providing the best of medical facilities.

I don’t know how true or false are the reports regarding the number of women molested and what was happening. But even if one woman was molested that too in the presence of so much crowd and security, nothing can be more shameful than this.

According to the december 2015 reports by the Indian express, an average of 6 rapes, 15 molestations occur each day. These are perhaps the cases which are reported, I don’t know what figure it might have reached if all 100% cases are reported.

let us analyze one by one what are the reasons that compel women to not report cases. One of them being, that if a thing happens time and again, we accept it as a part of life. Just like that, eve teasing and molestation on streets have become so common that for many the best action is to ignore. Even if these cases are reported, the action taken are too feeble to make an impact.
Moreover, in many backward and patriarchal families, it is still a taboo to be a victim of such crimes. Most of the time voices are suppressed because people don’t acknowledge the fact that this is a very serious violation of basic human rights and needs to be checked. To curb this especially in India, I would suggest all schools and colleges to include compulsory sex education. Till today, many of us shy away from openly discussing such topics and this is the manifestation of the mindset which has been trained to hush voices. Parents shy away from discussing any such topics with their children. It is very important to know that any type of abuse is a crime and needs to be reported.
The truth is that change is not sudden and easy. We have a long way to go, to remove such crimes. But what I believe is that we as citizens lack unity. Solely because we have an attitude “other’s problem is not my problem”, but we forgot that some day we might be others to someone. If at the bengaluru case, every person in the gathering, which was huge enough to handle goons, would have shown some serious empathy and unity, then this might have been an epitome of how aware citizens of a metro city fight against any atrocities. I hope some day we all raise our voices together when we see any girl standing helplessly or rather running away. The biggest power lies in unity and together 132.6 million i=Indians can definitely surmount any difficulties.

An incident.

It was a friday evening and I was there in the park for my customary evening saunter. The day is especially crowded because of a temporary market which is laid on the street every friday. You name a thing and you have it. the glitzy market lit by small lamps and bulbs offering a plethora of items, clothes, eatables.
Evenings are jammed with all sorts of people and the moment you pass by you can hear a vendor offering a good bargain or perhaps someone selling freshly toasted peanuts or the kids humming around the balloon and toy sellers like a bee.
It is mostly famous in the people living in a nearby slum area, for the market has some relly cheap offerings. My domestic help often asks for breaks for going to the ‘famous’ street market.
So coming back to the garden, I saw a lady weeping hysterically. She was sitting with a child, a small child who was offering all the support he can. Sometimes kissing her and sometimes trying to make her laugh.. but the lady didn’t stop.
My curiosity led me towards her and I asked her that why she was crying.
She looked and me and I could see her willingness to share. It’s strange how sometimes little empathy works. I patiently listen to her. She told me that her husband gave her 300rs to shop for her kid and get the groceries and all necessary items and in the havoc of the tumultuous market she lost her wallet. She was scared by the thought of going back to her husband who is going to chide her for her carelessness. I offered her all the support I can and I had. I was not carrying any cash so I couldn’t help her much.

But this whole incident made me think. The amount which meant so much for her accounts to my one time grocery bill or a little splurge on a food item or for that matter a trivial amount.
There are so many things in life that we don’t value but for others, it could mean the world. This incident just made me thank the almighty for bestowing me with certain things.

Not trying to be preachy, but sometimes it’s good to hold on for a while and gratify the little things we have. 🙂

I FORGIVE YOU….

I forgive you.

My dear self,
I forgive you for all the times you didn’t believe in your self,
I forgive you for all those times when you didn’t do things you should have done,
I forgive you for loving and trusting the wrong and letting go the right,
I forgive you for not knowing things that you should have known earlier,
I forgive you for caring too much sometimes and at other times not caring at all,
I forgive you for all the failures and mistakes,
I forgive you for those dolorous nights when you cried till your eyes were practically devoid of tears and finally your body succumbed to sleep,
I forgive you for carrying the burden of other’s hopes and achievements on your own shoulders and constantly trying to prove your worth when all you should have done was setting your own definitions and boundaries, walking your own path and keeping the will firm.
I forgive you for the times when you felt worthless and criticized yourself to a level that you no longer believed and trusted your abilities, for you let the pessimism seep so deep in you and you created a robust wall barring all hopes and optimism.
I forgive you for not being yourself and trying to live for others,
Remember baby you never have to justify your actions , your failures, your mistakes or even your success to anyone. You don’t owe them, neither you will ever.
I forgive you for being too harsh on yourself when you really didn’t deserve to be treated that way.
Above all I FORGIVE YOU FOR NOT FORGIVING YOURSELF…..!!!

I MISS YOU.

I miss u…. the fact that you don’t even think about me…. I thought I will NEVER contact you… why I always give up… every time…. I succumb to my desires… why …

tired of this one-sided affection… Lying to myself.. suppressing the little things that remind me of you.

sometimes I think… I didn’t even know anything about you… Nothing… you were a fantasy that became a reality.. and now this reality is eating me up like a termite…

As lucky as I feel to have got some moments with you, I also feel like somewhere it rendered me drained. To want somethings. Should I thank god for giving me this moment or should I curse myself for enjoying my illusionary image of you, trying to run behind things which were never mine. How I wish I got the chance to tell you ever how suffocated I feel when your accessibility seems impossible.

How many times I cry myself to sleep wishing that maybe someday you will be there beside me and I can lie on your shoulder and get wrapped in your arms, how surreal would that be. How many times I have dreamt about us and was hankering for a life with you.

Even though it is impossible to achieve, Why am I not able to make myself believe that the path I am walking on shall lead me to utter destruction and I will spend the whole lifetime picking up the delicate pieces of my love.

all I have for now is a lot of complains. I never really wanted you, but since you came near and gave me the taste of love, I can somehow not stop wanting for more.

If you were never supposed to be a part of my life, then why did god send you to me. It is better to not have something than to have something and lose it.

Despite all this I still miss you a lot.

TONIGHT.

TONIGHT, darling let’s get drowned in our oh so messianic ocean; we’ll forget it all and get soaked in the droplets of aphrodisiac, among the smog of wreck.
let’s set this forlorn lump of heart on fire, make it feel something.. I susurrate in your ears those magical words, while we lie down gazing the dark clouds etiolate the moon.

TONIGHT, let the stark darkness hide our cicatrix and the rhythmic pulse be the lullaby to get us to hibernate and rescue us from the pandemonium.

TONIGHT, let me string together my words into a curio, while I feel the warmth of your exhalation.

TONIGHT DARLING LET US FIND AN ESCAPE. . . . . . .

A conversation that never happened #3

SHE: you know the reason why I never leave you?

HE: what is it?

SHE: because I know, if I ever leave.. you won’t stop me. Not even once. You might not even care to ask why are you leaving and you’ll let me go easily like a sand you hold in your fists and the moment you let it even slightly loose, it falls. You will not stop me.

HE: if leaving makes you happy then go ahead.

SHE: I lied. I lied every time when I said I don’t expect anything from you. I lied when I said I can live without you. I lied when I said I was happy. I do expect and I expect a lot, but you know what… If everyone fulfilled expectations then there would have been no miseries, no tears, no melancholy only happiness….!! how imperfect that world would be..!!!!

BOOK REVIEW, Ernest Hemingway, The Old Man and the Sea.

I just finished reading the book I left incomplete a few months ago. The book by none other than the legend himself, “Earnest Hemmingway”. The author doesn’t need an introduction and this work by him is already acclaimed by many.
As difficult as it sounds, if I have to use one word to describe this novella, I shall use “beautiful”
This is one of those stories I’d happily read in childhood as it vividly describes the bright colors of fish, the roaring waves of the sea, a young boy, and yes THE OLD MAN. Characters and object often associated with children’s literature.
But may be I’d have just read the book for the story and nothing else at that time and now when I read it, I can actually feel and fathom that the writer has conveyed myriads of thoughts entrapped in those hundred pages of magic.
The old man suffering from constant failures and still not ready to give up. The young little boy, who’s love and fidelity towards the old man never faded. How he takes care of him, when he slept on newspapers and didn’t have a crumb to eat.
It is a story of hope; a story of not giving up; a story that mystically conveys the fight of a feeble old man against the leviathan sea.
It was a struggle so surreal and how the man marooned in the ocean between sharks and brackish water tries to put all his efforts despite all the forces going constantly against him. How in those times of distress he tries to be sanguine and encouraging himself to keep going. It makes me believe that all the motivation one needs, especially in dire situations, lies within us. We are our own anchors. The defeat is just nugatory, perhaps what matters is the journey, the fight, the spirit and not the result.
I would like to quote a few lines from the book itself,
“Now is no time
to think of what you do not have.
Think of what you can do
with that there is”

Some books please your senses and some touch your soul. This is definitely the latter… 🙂

A STORY. . . . . . .

NO.. it is not just another story, NO it is not drowned in the sea of prevalence, but it rose like the morning sun, so beautiful and full of warmth that you can feel the heat seep in every bit of your flesh. feel the fervor, the chasteness, the immaculacy of a lucid story delicately woven by the thread of passion.

THERE was a girl, pretty ordinary and simplistic. She used to live in a city which was away from the hustle and bustle. She was like a flightless bird who had wings but could not fly. Bestowed with beauty and grace the girl carried herself with dignity. Life was not a joyride for her, she had her own share of vicissitude and treachery and still managed to survive, rather live with an ever smiling face. Life was moving at its own pace entrapped in the quotidian humdrum.
One fine day someone entered her life. A guy from a metro city. The polished, refined and well-versed guy. he was not the perfect prince charming but there was a surreal beauty in his imperfection which appealed to each and every senses of the girl. He was charismatic and had the power to inspire. He was free, gallant and audacious. His sense of freedom made the girl tremor. they started talking, sharing and exploring. Together they reached fantasma and bliss in knowing each other. It was an inexplicable feeling. He gave her some of the most memorable lines that she could possibly gaze on for hours. They were poles apart just like fire and ice, they were near yet so far. they knew each other’s depths but still were strangers. And that’s where the old rules that govern predicaments such as this came in; the opposites attract made much more sense now. The guy was rock hard and had a shield around him. For the world he was someone different but for her he was like a pleasing zephyr… so gentle and sensitive.. She made an effort to see beyond the presented cuticle. It was a roller coaster ride from heaven to hell and the best part being the bond shared was so pious; serene; and pure that it didn’t require a name and perhaps a destination………

follower count.

I still remember the first day I created this blog. I would be really honest, I didn’t know that a thing called WordPress exist. My friend shared a link of a post written by an old classmate and it was on WordPress. I was into writing at that time and thought that even I can post something.
I was not an adroit in writing, neither I was the one who’ve had years of practice and has read gazillions of books. I was just a person who wrote to express. It was like saying a lot of things without shouting, crying without squealing and at that time this was what writing meant to me.
Though I always loved reading, it was a passion that somewhere got suppressed under the pathos of life. I managed to share a few of my diary entries and random thoughts on the blog. I initially decided to remain anonymous, but eventually, I added all details.
For one month I didn’t have a single view or a follow and honestly I never cared. My aim to write was basically NOTHING. I was just doing a thing I wanted to. Then came a day and someone commented on a post, which was supposedly pessimistic and the person was trying to instill hope. He started following my blog. I never thought, that there will be a single person in this world who’d like to read what I was writing aimlessly. I was happy, Afterall somewhere we all want our scribblings to be brought to some one’s attention, no matter whether they are a mosaic piece in a world of perfect masterpieces. Then almost two months passed by and I had 2 followers, and that was a lot for me, a lot.
I was not an extensive user of WordPress and knew nothing except posting whatever I feel like. I then started discovering new blogs and I found so many amazing writers out there, penning down their views wrapped in a poetic insight and exquisite expression. People started returning the favor, but with all honesty, I’ve always used this platform to learn and learn. I never knew that this would be a way to connect with so many beautiful souls. Writers and people who are compassionate and humble. People who knew how to uplift others, while raising themselves.
Today the stats might have changed, but the most treasured of all remain your beautiful words. Each and everyone of you who has appreciated, and above all cared to read my mindless ramblings. There are so many people I owe and if I started to name them then you might stop reading this ridiculously long post.. 😛

I never meant to write this because I’ve reached a certain milestone in my stats, but I wanted to express that The happiness and contentment I had even when I didn’t exist in the world of blogging still remains the same. I’ve got what I wanted and that is PURPOSE, rest everything is nugatory. I write because now it has become my passion. I fathomed that words are the most powerful weapon. A person can reach the mind and heart of another person through their words.
Writing has become an inseparable part of my life. And as always I implore all the beautiful souls out here to keep writing and sharing.