I FORGIVE YOU….

I forgive you.

My dear self,
I forgive you for all the times you didn’t believe in your self,
I forgive you for all those times when you didn’t do things you should have done,
I forgive you for loving and trusting the wrong and letting go the right,
I forgive you for not knowing things that you should have known earlier,
I forgive you for caring too much sometimes and at other times not caring at all,
I forgive you for all the failures and mistakes,
I forgive you for those dolorous nights when you cried till your eyes were practically devoid of tears and finally your body succumbed to sleep,
I forgive you for carrying the burden of other’s hopes and achievements on your own shoulders and constantly trying to prove your worth when all you should have done was setting your own definitions and boundaries, walking your own path and keeping the will firm.
I forgive you for the times when you felt worthless and criticized yourself to a level that you no longer believed and trusted your abilities, for you let the pessimism seep so deep in you and you created a robust wall barring all hopes and optimism.
I forgive you for not being yourself and trying to live for others,
Remember baby you never have to justify your actions , your failures, your mistakes or even your success to anyone. You don’t owe them, neither you will ever.
I forgive you for being too harsh on yourself when you really didn’t deserve to be treated that way.
Above all I FORGIVE YOU FOR NOT FORGIVING YOURSELF…..!!!

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TONIGHT.

TONIGHT, darling let’s get drowned in our oh so messianic ocean; we’ll forget it all and get soaked in the droplets of aphrodisiac, among the smog of wreck.
let’s set this forlorn lump of heart on fire, make it feel something.. I susurrate in your ears those magical words, while we lie down gazing the dark clouds etiolate the moon.

TONIGHT, let the stark darkness hide our cicatrix and the rhythmic pulse be the lullaby to get us to hibernate and rescue us from the pandemonium.

TONIGHT, let me string together my words into a curio, while I feel the warmth of your exhalation.

TONIGHT DARLING LET US FIND AN ESCAPE. . . . . . .

I FOUND MYSELF……

FOUND MYSELF

when I was lost in the labyrinth of solicitude and amore,
when the whole world looked not less than an ogre:
I found myself..
when the rosiness of oh so splendid life vanished;
I found myself…
When The eternal chase of defunct desires and dead dreams ended;
I found myself..
When I emptied my soul for the tremor in me could not longer be sustained;
I found myself…
When the delusion finally converged with  it’s rationale;
I found myself..
When the colors of the resplendent painting faded:
I found myself…
When the battle got over and the courage got  it’s cicatrix;
I found myself…
When the storm subsided and the destruction was peace;
I finally found myself…!

Near, yet so far. . . .

For the one who is near yet so far.

who is known yet a stranger, who exists yet doesn’t.

With whom I shared a lot yet so little;

I dedicate it to that person….

it took me time to realize that you are not real but a figment of my quixotic imagination.
Still, my mind wants to believe your existence;

your delusional presence; my irrational fervor; my pulverized dream; my unfinished story……….

 

I would rather be typhlotic; than to see you leave…

I would rather be paralyzed, than not being able to walk with you ever again;

I would rather asphyxiate all my dreams if you are not a part of them..!!!

THE FIRST MEET…

It was a bright sunny day,
The sun was about to leave his way.
step by step I walk in search of you,
But oh my bad.! couldn’t find you.
The jittery eyes got paranoid.
But finally, they got respite, seeing you walk through the aisle
each step felt like a long mile.
the rising heartbeats and the perennial smile,
you walk towards me making the time stop for a while.
the wind too was singing a melodious jingle,
perhaps celebrating our beatific mingle.
Those moments lingered around us like a pleasing zephyr,
Making us feel so sublime.

Surreal sunshine.. !

Oh surreal sunshine, Find my way
For blurry eyes brimmed with tears of despair
Lost in the maize can’t find you..

Dusky paths full of dry leaves susurrating covet you;
Give life to the now dead spirit.
The castles have now shattered for the caliginosity rendered them
Scattered.
Oh shimmering sunshine..
Spread your light; extirpate the doomed dusk
Break the daunting darkness; revive the drained soul

Oh limpid sunshine
The flowers are being crushed and they now mourn the catastrophe
The trodden path laments it’s loss..
grief sticken and wretched it is being asphyxiated by the hands of fate
give it the purpose; bring in thy light.

Oh reverent sunshine; find my way.